Thank you Tawna… just what I needed. I think.
I have a new friend. His name is Sir Weighty. Whilst I’ve known him for a very long time (I heard once that he was there at my birth), I’ve never been particularly close to him. I’m getting close now! Oh boy am I! I fully expected him to taunt me with the mockery that only cold white metal can offer, but alas, he flashed his ebony blacks on the screen today with another 219.8.
No, I don’t want to be at 219.8 all my life. I don’t. But I can take it for a few days/weeks if necessary. Furthermore, I am having trouble keeping up my jeans. So, I grabbed a tape measure and pulled the waistband away from my body. I measured. SIX FULL INCHES!!! Well, actually, I think it was more, but I couldn’t hold the pants out, hold the measuring tape, pull on one, hold on the other, and keep my pants up at the same time.
I have to buy more clothes. I can’t wear those for much longer. I spent all day hiking them up and while that does add a few more calories burned—the up and down motion of the arm and such, it’s really too much of a hassle than the couple of calories are worth. To illustrate how loose they are, I stood in the bathroom, arms straight out to my sides (remember how much BIGGER my hips are than my waist) and twisted at the waist until the pants fell down. Five twists and they puddle around my ankle. I’d wear a belt but the dumb things don’t have loops. I’m going to do some adjusting tomorrow. I can’t risk the um… catastrophe that could occur if I jumped up and down for joy. EEEK.
My father called today. Now, anyone who knows me knows how much I HATE telephones. Despise them suckers. So, when I’m on the phone, in order to avoid saying insipid things that show how miserable I am, I try to clean. Today I cleaned a LOT in the kitchen. I scrubbed door jambs, the stove, the sink, the counters, the lids of my cloth and towel containers, the surface of the cabinets, the shelves, the appliances, the window sills… let’s just say I CLEANED. The stupid kitchen is still not spotless, but it’s mucho bettero. (That’s Kevin’s pidgin Spanish for those who might misunderstand and think that I am foolish enough to consider that an actual word.)
I ate leftover chicken salad, a chicken sandwich from Burger King, and pizza for dinner. I’m dying for some spinach. I think I’ll have that tomorrow and a V-8 before bed. Water. I’m guzzlin’ the water.
I fully expect to get very little done tomorrow. I’m feeling under the monthly weather and miserable. But, I can fold laundry, put it away, make the bed, and write and edit. That’ll have to do.
Hasty la visty. Can’t wait for my date with Sir Weighty.
Let me set the scene. It is September 30, 1999 (ok, so the date is approximate—within say… ohhh… 90 days or so). I am pregnant with my ninth child. As my waistline expands in anticipation of birth in March, so grows the number on the scale. I remember the day (if not the date) well when I stood on the scale and the little metal weight went over the 220. I sighed. Yep. What could a gal do? It was very discouraging, but I was determined not to let it get the better of me. A baby was worth it.
Ten years later (or thereabouts), I wake up and stumble into the bathroom. I call for a towel as I strip for a shower (suddenly this blog got R rated or something. Eek!). Sir Weighty gallantly averts his eyes while I dutifully stand on his white surface. Yawning, I look down. I blink. I shake my head. I look down again. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 219.8 and without reindeer! (I’m a bit obsessed with Santa right now. Blame Authonomy).
Life is good. I’ve seen the other side of 220 for the first time in at least a decade. I am happified.
Today’s work…
My Bedroom
- · Rotate mattress
- Change sheets
- Dust shelves
- Fix shelf
- Clean out the dump ground
- · Sweep floor
- · Empty trash
- Mop
- Wash inside windows
- Clean closet floor
- Scrub door and doorjambs
I also did work in there that wasn’t on the list. Once I got in the room, I found lots of things to do. I also did maintenance in the bathroom, kitchen, living room… just none of the “big things”
I also took a ¾ mile walk or so.
Food wise, I had
Chicken salad
Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans
Oreos & milk.
So all in all, successful day. I only burned about 600 extra calories, but every calorie counts!
Today was hard to do any housework. The husband was home, the children were playing (and making messes so why clean, right?), and I was doing my part to help other struggling authors to the editor’s desk on Authonomy.
However, before I went to bed, I spent half an hour doing work in the bathroom. Yeah. Well, it needed it. What can I say? So while I didn’t get a ton done, I did get a lot more done than I might have if I hadn’t made that endless list of stuff to do. So, on the list for today… this is how it stands. (Since I concentrated in the bathroom, I just showed this section. Seemed a waste to repaste the WHOLE thing.)
Bathroom
- Scrub tub
- Scrub windowsill
- · Dump empty bottles
- Clean out under sink
- · Scrub sink
- Scrub cabinet and clean out
- · Scrub toilet
- · Scrub floor
- · Scrub doorjambs and door
Lots done but not nearly enough.
However, I ate well. I had…
½ a Philly Sandwich
Lemon Pepper Chicken and rice
V-8 juice
Coke
Water
Not great, but good.
Sir Weighty’s forecast is calling for 221.0 lbs and light showers from the ocular regions. Seriously, when will I get under 220? I’ve been over it for at least 10 years!
Hint: If you threaten to work hard to lose weight, Sir Weighty gets scared. I think he thinks he makes his money by keeping me as huge as possible or something. I get up this morning and my weight is back to 221.6. It’s a conspiracy.
When planning my work for today, I forgot that it was a friend’s birthday and she and her children were coming to my house for the day. Not much work done there. By the time they left, I was dead and had things to catch up on, so instead of cleaning, I did those things while making a list to do the rest of the week. Here it is. I’ll try to keep up with how much of it I got accomplished. We’ll see.
Living Room
- Dust upper shelves
- Dust bookshelves
- Water plants
- Wash doorjambs
- Wash door knobs
- Vacuum out the couch
- Sweep the floors
- Clean the mirror
- Mop the floors
- Dust heater
- Scrub heater
- Wash inside windows
My Bedroom
- Rotate mattress
- Change sheets
- Dust shelves
- Fix shelf
- Clean out the dump ground
- Sweep floor
- Empty trash
- Mop
- Wash inside windows
- Clean closet floor
- Scrub door and doorjambs
Bathroom
- Scrub tub
- Scrub windowsill
- Dump empty bottles
- Clean out under sink
- Scrub sink
- Scrub cabinet and clean out
- Scrub toilet
- Scrub floor
- Scrub doorjambs and door
Hallway
- Scrub doors and doorjambs
- Sweep
- Mop
- Dust heater
- Scrub heater
Outside
- Sweep steps
- Sweep driveway
- Arrange area by gate
Kitchen
- Scrub tops of cabinets
- Scrub windowsills and doorjambs
- Scrub door
- Shake and wash rugs
- Wash appliances
- Wash towel/rag boxes
- Oil counters
- Scrub floor
- Scrub stove
- Scrub micro
- Wash table runner
- Wipe down cabinets
- Wipe down shelves
- Clear cabinet tops
- Shop on Friday
As you can see, there’s a lot that needs doing. That’s not including regular pick ups and laundry folding/putting away.
Work. Must work.
Meanwhile, I’m off to bed. Goodnight.
Sunday September 27, 2009
I tried an experiment this week. I thought perhaps I’d get more done if I spent more time cleaning and less time writing. It occurred to me that I should try a weekly summary of my progress rather than daily drivel about how much of this and how little of that. Alas, I was wrong.
Somehow, that accountability of writing daily keeps me working more. I noticed it the first day, but I thought perhaps it was like any new thing. Well, it’s not. Without the daily reckoning, I found that I did a lick and a promise at best.
I’m back to daily digests. It was a good lesson and Sir Weighty, who made an appearance the minute I decided not to do a daily post, was favorably disposed to my lack of work. I’ve hovered around 220.4 for days. I’m glad of that, but I wonder what Sir Weighty is thinking. Why is he being so benevolent to a lazy bones?
With the denture adhesive, I’ve been eating a wider variety of food and with a full five pounds off my body, this is working. I am thrilled to know it. I am just bored to write it. So, alas, you’re stuck with the daily notes. I find it an interesting commentary on my personality. I’m afraid I am still like a child. Must have to account to someone to prove I’ve done the work or I won’t do it.
Wish me luck and lots of sweat.
Can I just say how much I hate the ‘hurry up and wait’ game? I know, I know, it happens. You wait in line for just about anything anymore. Well…except making a phone call. Cell phones have made everything so instant access that you don’t have to wait in line for a phone call. Everything else though, we wait. The library, the grocery store, the post office…it’s all about waiting. You know the kicker though, waiting to give birth is worse. I’m in line. Everyone in front of me moves through their turn…it gets to me and “please go to the back of the line.” WHAT??!?!? I’ve been waiting! It’s my turn!!
Okay, temper tantrum over.
Jeff??? Where are you? Are you drowning in your own stories or are you working out by cleaning your house? 
We’re doing okay here. The kiddos and their AMAZING father (yup…I have one of those husbands that Jeff was talking about too) have been helping me keep the house in pre-baby mode. I’m really hoping we can move from pre-baby mode to BABY mode. I am very aware that I’m obsessed. It happens. LOL
Today, I tried to rest and get lots and lots of sleep…I got a little bit. The family did some cleaning and then after dinner tonight I gave my almost 5 year old boy a haircut. I don’t know if that resulted in any loss of calories, but it sure felt like a workout. I wonder if it would be a little absurd to install a barber chair in my kitchen? Hmmm…it would have to disappear into the floor when I’m not using it, otherwise I’d just trip over it constantly. It sure would be nice for cutting hair though. I’m tall. I like having the option of the chair moving up so I’m not in a hunchback position to get to their head. Just thinking out loud here…that’s all.
So…my USEFUL part of this random post. I received an email today that had 5 exercise tips for beginners. I thought they weren’t the normal tips that you receive, so I’m going to toss them out there. These came in an email from FitnessPros.com
1) Just get Dressed
If you find yourself not wanting to work out, start with baby steps. Make a deal with yourself to just put on your workout clothes (or even just get them together). Tell yourself if you’re just going to put them on. Chances are if you put them on, you will at least be able to talk yourself into the next step, which is to work out for five minutes. Again, the chances are that if you can talk yourself into working out for five minutes, you will probably go ahead and finish the workout anyway. If you are bored with your routine, get a personal trainer to mix things up. A good personal trainer should be able to keep coming up with new workouts to keep things fun.
2) Running Shoes
You should have at least two pairs of running shoes. Let’s call them pair A and pair B. If you wear pair A today, next time wear pair B. Giving the shoes a day off can help keep their cushioning ability from breaking down so quick. Most running shoes should only be kept until you’ve put about 500 miles on them. That means if you have two pairs of shoes, and you are running 15 to 20 miles per week, replace them about once per year. And stagger that too. For example, replace one pair in April and the other in September. The shoes may still feel good, but trust me, the cushioning ability only lasts about 500 miles. Before you throw them away, show them to your personal trainer. A good personal trainer should be able to examine the wear patterns of the shoe and make recommendations that can prevent injuries.3) Protect your Tendons
If you are just beginning to lift weights, don’t go too heavy too soon. It is common to be able to lift much heavier weights in a very short time. For example, it is not uncommon for someone who has trouble bench presseing 100 pounds on the first workout to be able to lift 130 or 140 within month or two. The fact is their muscles didn’t grow enough yet to get that much stronger. What happens first is that the nervous system gets better at firing the muscles, so when your brain says lift, your nervous system learns to fire all of those muscles now better. The tendons don’t get strong quickly. It’s wise to not do any one rep max lifts for the first couple of months. Olympic lifts are even harder on your tendons (Olympic lifts are done explosively, where the weight is violently jerked off the floor, as in the clean and jerk). Work up to them slowly. Never attempt Olympic lifts unless a qualified personal trainer has taught you all of the safety points.
4) Exercising Outside
If you are going to exercise outside, you need to make sure you are prepared for the heat or cold. If it’s hot out, dress in clothes that are made of a light colored, breathable fabric that wicks the moisture away. Wear a hat, sunglasses, and sunblock as necessary. Drink enough water to stay well hydrated. If it’s cold, dress in layers that you can easily remove. Be careful of running on slippery surfaces like ice and snow. It’s best to start out slow. Keep your first outdoor workouts to 10 minutes or so. Gradually add a few more minutes each workout, as your body gets used to the conditions. And have fun!5) Make some Adjustments
If you are working with weight machines, don’t forget to adjust the machine to fit you. Have a good personal trainer show you how to set up the machine so that all of the alignments are biomechanically correct. If you work with a personal trainer, here is a test to see if your trainer is any good. If your personal trainer doesn’t adjust the machine’s seat, backrest, etc to fit you before asking you to perform the lift, run away! That person is a bad personal trainer.
Oooh life gets interesting. So last night I went to bed really late—super late actually. About 3 a.m. give or take half an hour. Well, probably take. I think I was in bed by 2:30 if you want to get picky but I know I was awake near 3. Anyway, not that that matters, but at six, I rolled over, and jumped out of my skin when my husband said my name. Yeah, I have a husband, yeah he’s a man, yeah I am not gay and yeah, I go by Jeff on here. It’s Mutt and Jeff. You know.. THE Mutt and Jeff? They weren’t married or gay either. It’s just fun, not some shocking revelation about orientations or a social commentary of any kind. It was just fun times with Mutt and Jeff, and sure enough, the day came when I had to say, “And my husband…” and then whammo, look what we have, a whole discussion on something I really don’t want to deal with. It’s irrelevant to the blog topic, repugnant to me, and furthermore, I think it’s a sad commentary on our culture when people don’t know who Mutt and Jeff are anymore. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
So, where was I? Oh yeah, hubby scared me out of my wits and into the need for the bathroom. That’s one way to lose an ounce or two. Apparently ye olde alarm clock is older than we thought and didn’t go off. So, I had to take him to work. Asleep for three hours and off to a remote test range thirty minutes away—then back. Yeah. I came home, grabbed another blanket, and went to bed. I got up somewhere between noon and one. Sue me.
That kind of killed ambition for the morning that had been building when I went to bed. I thought it was time for more door jamb and similar scrubbing, but alas, it was not to be. So, I sat around, read a really good book (Get The Wednesday Letters… you won’t regret it) and shopped for guests that are coming tomorrow.
Yeah. Guests. My house is a pig sty and I’m havin’ guests. I do that. My theory is, you discover who your real friends are when they like you even after having to scrub their plate before they can put food on it. Just kidding. Seriously. I am just. Kidding. Get a grip.
So, I started in my room. It needs a thorough dusting, sweeping, mopping, and new sheets. I didn’t. I put away books, tossed some trash, picked up a bit in the closet, and basically put everything lying on surfaces not designed to house those things away. Then I left.
Into the living room I went. I started at the table under the mirror and cleared it. Moved to the bookcase under the TV. It is now minus a bunch of junk and nice and neat. Then I pooped out and here I sit telling you all about it. No worries, I’m giving myself ten more minutes and then I’m up and at ‘em again.
To do before bedtime:
Clear living room table
Fold laundry
Put laundry away
Take empty baskets and any dirty clothes to the garage
Dust
Sweep living room floor
Mop living room floor
Clean windowsills, windows, and mirrors
Wash living room door knobs (so we don’t pass germs to our friends ok!)
Dump wastepaper basket
Water plants (just because it needs to be done don’tcha know)
Bathroom-
Scrub sink
Scrub tub
Scrub toilet
Wipe down cabinets
Wipe down walls next to toilet
Scrub door and doorjamb
Clean mirror
Sweep floor
Take out trash
Mop floor
Kitchen-
Empty dishwasher
Fill dishwasher
Clear stuff off fridge and put in cupboard
Clear counters
Wipe dirty cabinet fronts (clean can stay that way without further help)
Scrub stove (it’s nasty ok?)
Shake out rugs
Mop floor
Clean door knobs (reasons stated above)
Remove dirty wash cloths
Take box of mailers to garage
Collapse into chair and make the following note for the kids
BEFORE I GET UP!
Kaylene- Make sure you get all newspaper stuff tossed and cleaned up. I want the living room as clean when I get up as it was when I went to bed.
Nolan- Take ladder down and put black tote in garage. Remove pieces of Braelyn’s bed from flower bed (don’t ask).
Jenna- Keep dishwasher full, put laundry in your room away, do switch and put basket in my room.
Andra- Gather all dirty towels and stuff from around the driveway and fence by pool. Put in garage. Keep kitchen counters clear.
Ethan- Gather all trash from around the driveway/pool fence and toss. Sweep back step and driveway. Line up trash cans in front of gate in front yard.
Everyone- Make sure the backyard is presentable and safe. Totes should have lids and be stacked neatly. Someone wake me up by eight o’clock or when Amy calls. Whichever comes first.
Yeah. That should do the trick.
Foodwise, ho hum day.
1- Slim Fast
1- Chicken Cordon Bleu
1- Small piece of roast
1- Serving spoonful of mashed potatoes
1- Serving spoonful of corn
WATER and a few too many cokes. Sue me. Tomorrow will be better. Still no sign of Sir Weighty. I expect to find him hiding somewhere in the bathroom. I’ll report on his whereabouts when I can divulge them. (I.e., when I know where those whereabouts actually are.)
- When brushing your teeth, march in place, squat, do twists, or otherwise contort your body. Why just stand there for two minutes while you scrub them to death. Sweat a little.
- When taking a shower, stand at a barely squat. Just barely. (You don’t want to make yourself unbalanced in a slippery shower!)
- When riding in a car slowly squeeze your abdominal muscles as tight as you can and then slowly release. Repeat until you pass out from exhaustion. Do not do this while driving.
- While watching TV, a movie, or listening to music, squeeze any muscles you can. Do leg lifts keeping ankles and knees together. Keep stretchy bands handy to work out those arms.
- Before going to sleep at night, do as many leg lifts on each side as you can before collapsing. This also helps make you feel all stretched and cozy and ready to sleep. You can also do leg lifts from your back if you like that kind of torture.
- Get married if you aren’t. ‘Nuff said.
- While waiting for something to cook, your turn at something, etc, do wall push ups.
- To help with double chins (it works for some people and doesn’t for others– can’t hurt), with your mouth closed, push your head back as far as possible stretching your neck. Open and close mouth slowly stretching that muscle under your chin. This is also good for freaking out your children.
- Have a baby. Instant weight loss and apparently you burn more calories than a construction worker does in 8 hours of hard work. It ain’t called labor for nothing. Just sayin’ Mutt.
- Practice perfect posture at all times. Good posture actually burns more calories than slouching. I read that once. It wasn’t tons but again, we’re looking for little bits of progress.
It has been a full month. I started on Tuesday the eleventh of August and this is the fifteenth of September.
I know I promised to do measurements Saturday—I couldn’t. Some of us just need a bit of time to deal with these things. However, here we go. I did it today. So… here are the results before and after…
| August 15, 2009 | September 15, 2009 |
| Chest- 46”
Waist- 42” (Tight muscles- 41”) Right Arm- 16.25 Left Arm- 15.75” Abs (Below Navel)- 51.5” (Tight muscles- 49.25”) Hips- 49” Right Upper Thigh- 28” Left Upper Thigh- 27.25” Right Lower Thigh- 23.25” Left Lower Thigh- 23.25” Right Calf- 16.25” Left Calf- 16” |
Chest- 44”
Waist- 42” (Tight muscles- 39.5”) Right Arm- 15” Left Arm- 15.25” Abs (Below Navel)- 50” (Tight muscles- 48.5”) Hips- 47.5” Right Upper Thigh- 27.5” Left Upper Thigh- 26.5” Right Lower Thigh- 22” Left Lower Thigh- 21” Right Calf- 16.25” Left Calf- 16” |
As you can see, there is a definite loss!!! There are 11.5” actually gone from this body of mine and I am able to tighten my muscles 1.25” tighter than before. Part of that, of course, is loss but not all of it. I lost nothing in the actual waist and I can tighten it .5” tighter than a month ago. Combine that with the weight loss– I went from 225.5 to as of yesterday 221.8- a clear 3.7 lbs, and I’d say that this project is a definite success. Slow, but a success.
In addition to doing my daily work, I’m also working hard to get some decluttering done. With so many people coming and going in my house and our lives changing rapidly as our children grow, I’m discovering that we really need to weed things out on a consistent basis. So, over at my blog Paradoxology, I started a challenge for myself based upon a cool blog post I read yesterday. So far, 20 things are out of our home and counting!
Today I’ve done minimal housework. I woke up and my children had cleaned the bathrooms, living room, kitchen, they mopped the floor, and who knows what all. So, I’ll get creative after they go to bed and do some scrubbing on the tops of the cabinets, cleaning light fixtures, and um… well I think the floor needs a little more work. However, I don’t want to take away from their gift to me, so I’ve “taken it easy” as they suggested. I need the exercise but I don’t want to hurt their feelings so I’ll get it once they are in bed and can’t see. Hee hee.
On the food front, I’ve had
- A can of V-8
- A burrito
- A bowl of steamed spinach
- A bowl of chili
- 2 cans of Coke
- A few gallons of water (ok, not quite one, but you get the point.)
Sir Weighty is MIA. I can’t find him. I don’t know if the numbers were terrifying, I overworked him, or if he’s just telling me I don’t want to know. Either way, over the past three days I was between 221.8 and 222.6 so I’m assuming I’m in that ballpark. Let me live in my dream world.
